Strange Wildernesssesssssss

I was standing on my balcony the other night, pitch black outside and no sign of life any where...which is typical for Elkford at night, its so quiet, its spooky. I starting hearing the strangest noises... at first I thought it might of been the drunk kids I saw at the gas station. But I had saw them hours ago, by now they should have been passed out somewhere. WHOOOP WHOOOOP AWOOOOOOOOOOO WHOOP WHOOP, what the fuck is that?!?! Luckily our condo is on the second floor, so if some strange beast lunged out of the woods I would be in the clear...but wait!! if some strange beast did lunge out of the woods, I had no camera to take a picture, again.. where are my priorities?

The noises were so loud, I called Kristina outside to listen (Kristina and her son Brennan were here visiting Austin and Phil)... she was on the phone with Phil at the time so she held out the phone so Phil could listen. Naturally the noises stopped, or at least got a little fainter... what the hell was it?? super creepy.

We were still house sitting for Bec at the time, Terry and Brennan were over there playing video games. So I texted Terry

"There is some strange wilder noises going on outside of our condo"
"Oh yea?, what does it sound like" - How do you make sounds via text??
"Whooping and howling noises, maybe a coyote or an Elk?"
"Are you inside?"
"Yes"
"Good."

Greeeeat. Now, Brennan had walked over to Becca's house and I had Becca's van. So my first thought was, Brennan was going to be wilder meat if he walked home. So, I texted Terry saying that I was coming to pick Brennan up, he thought that was a good idea.

Grabbed my keys, my coat... put on my shoes and thought "Fuck that, if there is some strange beast lurking around my condo, who's to say its not in my parking lot".
I grabbed the bear spray. To my convenience Bec's van has auto start, so as soon as I left the front door I started the van, put the bear spray in my bag and held on to the panic button.

Got to the van, no problem.. drove 'round the corner, no problem... pulled into Bec's driveway, no prob... get out of the van and floored it to the front door. Home safe, for now... until I have to drive Brennan back. I go downstairs where they were still playing video games, the fear of god in my eyes. Terry once again asks me to mimic the noises I heard... this time it was a little easier because I didn't have to spell whoop with seven o's in Caps.

"Hmmm sounds too me like you heard a grizzly or maybe a Samsquanch (Sasquatch)"
"Are you sure? I was hoping for an Elk"
"Noo noo Grizzly's make a Whooping sound"

Damn global warming, making the bears come out early.

"So where is the bear spray?"
"In my bag"
"What good is it in your bag?"

I suppose he was right, if some lurky beast lunged at me, I couldn't very well tell him to hold on a sec while I get my bear spray out of my bag. But what would the neighbors have thought? me carrying this huge canister in my hand for a few feet to the car? "Look at that crazy big city girl, thinks a bear is going to eat her alive in the parking lot".... you never know.

Needless to say, I made Terry drive Brennan back to our place, I couldn't go through that again!...better hide in the safety of Becca's basement with the dog. Strange Wilderness.

I am proud to report though, that no humans were harmed in the making of this blog. And for the lurky beast, I hope to never find out what you are...unless of course if I have my camera.