Fuckin' Dog

This blog goes out to the dumb bitch in a red sweater riding up Alder st at 1am this morning:

Put your god awful, poorly trained, miserable dogs on a leash... because next time your dogs charge at me barking and growling, I might be inclined to kick it and call the bi-law officer on your ass.
I bet you don't have dog licenses do you?
This goes for you, your kids and your creepy ass husband.

Regards.

p.s. Yes, I am an animal lover and people like you don't deserve to own pets.

Strangely Weird Dreams #2

An old friend was visiting us with some random french girl and I was cooking pasta for everyone. My house was full of people, Terry, Becca, Court, Phil, Austin, Josh, Chris, French girl and Max
Anyways, I was busy making this huge pasta dish so I was unable to drive Chris to the Mini-Mart before it closes. So my nephew..my two year old nephew.. in perfect English says "I'll take him"... I handed Max the keys and told him to hurry up because dinner was almost ready. As he started to walk away with my keys, the thought finally crossed my mind that Max was too short and couldn't reach the pedals... not the fact that he is two...and didn't know how to drive..let alone run with out falling. I remember in the dream, it was quite the hassle that Max couldn't take Chris...who would?... never mind the other 6 full grown adults in the room.

Strangely Weird Dreams #1

Lately, I've been having the strangest dreams... strange, realistic dreams... So, I thought I might share some of them with you....

Last nights dream:

Kristen Stewart was on Dr.Phil talking about her rarin' ecstasy addiction and her new Martha Stewart tattoo.

Right. Thus concludes my strangely weird dream from last night.

ttyl

The Monday Night Line Up

Mondays are good, do you want to know why? Back to back Intervention and Obsessed. Sure, they are shows that showcase people at their all time low but its like a train wreck... you can't help but watch.

A year ago, I could relate to Obsessed because I have Anxiety disorder. I could see myself in those people, the irrational thoughts and the bizarre behavior. But like most people on the show, I sought treatment, over a year of treatment. In fact, one of my fears was moving here...to the East Koots and a year ago there would be no way in HELL that I would ever move here! I sucked it up through thick and thin and finished therapy and now that I am here, I am settled and I've maybe had two panic attacks in 5 months...watching this show right now... as I type, I see nothing of my new self in these people at all. Cured. Love it.

Intervention on the other hand.. that is a whoooooole 'nother bag of worms. Like I said, its like a train wreck. I watch loyally, every Monday... sad I know. Sometimes when I watch, I can't help think of some old friends from back home... and I hope someday they will be success stories too.

ttyl

Work Those Abs and Buns

Guess what I found at the Transfer Station (ReStore) the other day?!?!!!!!!!!!

A Thigh Master!

Yea! That's right, me and Susan Sommers are going to be besties this Summer.

Amazon Lobster Girl in a Roller Disco Suit

So I totally got the tan line situation under control.. the down fall about it is now I am lobster girl, waiting to join the freak show. I have a perfect tube top and short short tan line... My naked body looks like I'm wearing a white roller disco jumpsuit with red tights and red long sleeves. Very attractive. The past two days, I've been wearing and sleeping on sand paper... No pain no gain, I guess!

Apparently, I'm too big for my dress (thanks Mum)... I thought I looked good...BUT if I can't skinny myself down a few pounds by Leanne's wedding at least I will have the bronzest of bronze tans that my Mother and anyone else wont even notice my dress short comings.. all they will see is amazon girl glory and they wont notice my agony when I'm forced to suck in my stomach all day and all night!

Its too bad I didn't have long hair, I could use it as a curtain..or use it to tie a bow around my waist... perfect decoy.

Gotta love weddings :)

Its begining to look alot like Summer

In the past month we've had 3 days of sun total.

Last weekend we were lucky to have sun for the triathelon and this weekend its shaping up to be a beautiful weekend... Woot! lets hope it keeps up because I have some serious work to do. Last weekend I developed a farmer tan, panic set in so I threw on a wife beater to try and tan it out... after all in less than a month, I have to be a brides maid in a strapless dress. I have horrible vision of Leannes wedding photo's being ruined because of my multiple strap problem.

So, Rebecca feeling my pain, lent me a tube top... I hate tube tops...well let me rephrase that..I love tube tops but not when your six pack is more like a keg. I have never fake n' baked...I've thought of it, but why waste a day in a UV coffin? When you could cop a squat in the back yard with a book and a cold drink?!

My goal this weekend is going to get as crispy as I can, reburn the burns and all the while try not to get skin cancer because you never know when the weather is going to change... we are in the mountains after all.