You wouldn't like Charley when he's angry

I realized the other day, that once again.. I've neglected my little Blogger friendy here...sorry buddy, but don't worry.. I still love you.

Its so hard to find time for yourself these days, I find that when Charley gets up... I can't help but count down the minutes/hours/seconds until he goes for a nap. I don't understand how people with more kids manage to get more done... I mean, I have one and its a good day when I turn the dishes on.. or remember to put the clothes in the dryer... never mind folding laundry, just getting it dry is a miracle. I think some mothers aren't actually human, more like robots... which makes me slightly envious! Ohhh to have a life, clean house and not neglect your child at the same time.

Thankfully, Charley has decided he likes naps (yessss!!!!) and he usually pulls in about 3 a day (yessssssssssssssssss!!!!) but when he goes down, my first impulse is not to pull out the mop and bucket.. its more like.. shower, watch t.v (with out having the volume on max to block out the baby babble), eat food, think, cope...have a few minutes to remember what it was like before I decided to have children. But as soon as you get into living the baby-free life, you hear this faint crying from the other room and your forced to go back to reality...

...how ironic that after I just typed that sentence..I hear a little baby voice begging to be freed from this crib... So its safe to say, its time to end this thought before Charley decided to Hulk out and go on a rampage.

Ttys

Mork Mork

Alright, to continue with the on going theme of the day.

Elizabeth May and the Swedish Chef.. ok ok totally not fair because of the whole gender thing.. but they both look like the love smoking weed... just sayin'

This blog is brought to you by the letter V

This morning as I was feeding Charley, I was thinking about our political leaders... why breast feeding makes me think of politicians, I'm not sure... maybe because they are all boobs?

Anyways, what I was thinking about was how all the leaders in the race bare some resemblance to some of the Muppet characters. Take Micheal Ignatieff for example, his eyebrows alone are something only a felt puppet could have. So I did some research.. yes from the floor of Charley's room (again, why mess with a good thing) And don't you think Micheal Ignatieff looks exactly like Sam the Eagle? I mean, they do have things in common... they both have crazy 'brows and conveniently they are both American. Enjoy.

This blog is brought to you by the letter C

Last Blog Feb.2nd... Well now that its almost 3 months later, I'm glad to say I'm up and running... So you 6 readers out there.. Enjoy.

I'm typing from my new office, yes.. an office.. I've made the big times.. but in all reality, its the floor of my son's room. Why the floor? because Charley really seems to dig it down here and I'll do whatever it takes for 5 minutes of piece.

I can't believe, its been over a year since I've moved to this little town. And what have I accomplished??! Child birth. Yes, my greatest fear in life (motherhood) as come true, just a little over my year anniversary here, I had Charley. After being 12 days over due he graced us with his presence on March 4th and my life since then has been tilted upside down. All new mothers can agree with me when I say the past two months have been out of control! Sleep deprivation, shit, pee, constant crying and coming to except the fact that for the next year and a bit I will constantly smell like barf... au de bebe, I should bottle it.. its really quite lovely. But dare, I say.. motherhood has grown on me.. kind of like a mole, you think you should have it removed but never do because it's something that defines you.

So here we go again, gorilla blogging... from the bedroom floor.

Early Spring, that ain't no Bull...eerrr Bill

This morning, I woke up with the theme song of Groundhog Day stuck in my head... you know, the song that plays in the back round when Bill Murray keeps reliving the Groundhog Day festival over and over and over... pretty obscure thing to have in my head, but alas it was there.

I suppose the irony about that, is that today is in fact Groundhog Day. Happy Groundhog Day, everyone... if that means anything to you. To us in the mountains, I don't think it means a whole lot...maybe it means wishful thinking? But I'm pretty sure we're doomed for winter weather, whether a rodent see's his shadow or not, at least until March or April. Call me bitter? Sure... its still -20 outside! Come on +20!!

So what did Puxatawney Phil predict? Early spring. Enjoy it where it might apply, me.. I'll still be shoveling out my car.. for a little while at least :)

Man, I feel like a Woman

I'm headin' on into home base with this whole pregnancy thing...37 weeks. So, I guess I could pop at anytime now? One could hope. I now have the privilege of seeing my doctor once a week until the time comes, which is cool because since my doctor's office is in Fernie, any reason to get out of Elkford is a good one.

Wayyyy back in late September, we had our ultra sound and it determined that we were having a boy... Which is cool because we have 3 nephews under the age of 10 (2 of them are under the age of 4) So, hand me downs and loads of experience. Boys are easy, little girls freak me out!

So after months of preparing for a boy, got boy clothes, picked boy names... just all around boy'd up the place.. we now found out ( 3 doctors confirming) that our boy has a girl heart beat... and after correcting the doctor saying that the ultra sound said it was a boy, the only response we've gotten from all 3 of them is "Well, its a girl or the boy is a really healthy baby"...hmmmmm.

Can't complain about a healthy baby, that is the goal... but now things just got interesting, after knowing for months that we're having a boy and now the tune is changing...is our Charlie going to come out a Carley? I guess we'll find out soon.

Good Bye Icy Brick Road...

Its been fairly warm in ole Elkford lately... warm being between -2 to a balmy +6... that being said, I saw my first glimpse of grass today! GRASS! I haven't seen grass since October, sure it wasn't green and lush...it was more brown with a hay like consistency.. but grass non the less. Signs to me that winter is on the outs (squeeeeeee!!!) Melt snow! MELT! Peace out ice and your scariness, you wont be missed.. bahahahahahahahaaa!



*Edited Note: 10 minutes after typing this lovely blog, it started snowing. Lesson learned, never under estimate the power of mother nature and her ability to smack you in the face!

Coffee, Doughnuts and an Onion... delicious!

Have you ever noticed how cute the bad breath guys that are on the Excel gum commercials? I swear, if my bad breath was this cute, I would never brush my teeth just so these little guys could fallow me around.

Mmmmm 2 ply... my favorite

Have you ever seen the show My Strange Addiction?

Good god. These people are seriously fucked up. I'm watching this show right now and some chick is arguing with her psychiatrist about how its okay to eat massive amounts of toilet paper. Hmmmmmmm... what would possess you to eat toilet paper to begin with? I look at toilet paper and say "Your meant to wipe my ass" not "Mmmmmmm that looks like a delicious snack, I could really go for some Purex Double Roll"...

Or how about the girl that eats couch cushions... She says that the yellow cushions are the best because they have the most flavor... I didn't know that foam came with a flavor. What does she have against white foam? is it too salty? Perhaps there isn't enough Polypropylene in it for her taste... According to her, she has eaten through 3 couches and 2 lazy boy chairs in her life time and she is only 30. That's like 2-3 living room sets... I've never owned that many couches in my life and I'm 30 and I've certainly never considered eating my couch... can you imagine how many people have farted and spilled shit all over your couch and then think to yourself "I'm going to mow down on that" Grossssssss.

I suppose one mans crack is another mans couch cushion.

My name is Lisa and I'm addicted to Food Network

If your pregnant and have a love for the Food Network (such as myself) be prepared to live in misery!
I love the Food Network! So many awesome shows but when your hungry every 5 minutes, like I am, and live in a small town, as I do, your life slowly becomes hell. Shows like "Best Thing I Ever Ate" and "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" put notions of greasy delicious food in ones head. It gives you the illusion that you can order pizza and eat a burger when ever you want.. but not in Elkford! 2 out of the 4 restaurants here are Chinese food and 2 out of the 4 restaurants are closed on Mondays...yeeesh

So why do you watch said shows if its so torturous? Because Food Network is like an addiction, I need my Guy Fieri and Duff Goldman fix.. I need to find out what's the best diner in Chicago, Illinois is...I need to watch them eat wonderful wonderful food and imagine that its me. Perhaps, I'm not addicted but a masochist..hmmmmmmm.

Til death do you part

Ohhhhh Elkford, you never fail.

Finally... FINALLY we set a date for our wedding... after months and months of stewing about it and thinking June was a good month. We've decided September... after all... I am having a baby soon. Perhaps June was wishful thinking, you know giving birth and just assuming my body will bounce back to better shape then before I got knocked up. Not that I've gained a crap tonne of weight but that stupid saying keeps lingering in my mind "It took 9 months to gain the weight, its going to take 9 months to take it off"...bah. So, September seems good.. plus September 2011 Terry and I will be together for 10 years, we pulled off a decade! (well almost)

Anyways, Labor Day weekend.. September 4th... the big day! Well, until Terry asked for the time off. Turns out August and September are busy months in Elkford for booking time off... Why? might you ask? Because its hunting season. You know you live in a small town when they turn down a wedding to shoot a moose. Hahaha this town never fails to amuse me!

To be Continued.... lolol

Braxton Hicks... Watts?

HAPPY NEW YEAR YA'LL

So, I think I might name my son Braxton Hicks... because that seems to be the name of the game of my pregnancy of late.


p.s. Braxton Hicks is the "technical term" for false labour. I want to meet this Braxton person and ask why he was so lucky to be named after this joyful feeling.

The Hills are Alive.....

The Sound of Music is on the telly, haven't seen this movie in years. I'm not a huge fan of musicals, but when Maria feels the need to break out in song, I can just flip the channel... after all holiday weekends are full of marathons. Damn, I need a hobby...or a job... or something. Okay, gotta finish up because Maria is just about to sing "My favorite things"... time to go back to the Food Network.


p.s. Christopher Plummer was pretty dashing back in 1965, just sayin'.

Holidays

Happy Holidays Everyone! Hope it was a goody.

Its very strange today because it's Boxing Day and I have no mall near by... what's Boxing Day without Boxing Day shopping? I guess we'll find out...maybe to my horror, it will be like every other day with out a mall!

This year was my first year ever to have Christmas off the island, to have Christmas sans the family. It was different, it totally felt like there was a piece missing but this is what change is all about, I suppose. I'm thankful for what I have here, I'm thankful that Terry was able to get the day off work, I'm thankful for Rebecca and Court and the surrogate family I have accrued here since I've moved...with out them, it would have been a very long and lonely holiday. So, thank you :)

Once again, as the story seems to go here, it will get easier...next year it will be easier. I hold on to that, I've heard it so many times here that I'm starting to believe it. Next year, I will have my own family to contend with, it will be my son's first Christmas. And that in its self is a milestone, a stepping stone to start our own traditions. Every family has them and they all started from some where and now its our time to do them. Growing up and away from family is hard and I miss them everyday, especially on the holidays.

Let it snow....let it snow............let it snow.

I hate the snow, I hate the snow, I hate the snow!!!!!!!!!! (well, not really...but today I do)

Gah!!!

I come from Victoria, it maybe snows twice a year...if we're lucky and when it does, I'm all over it. Love launching myself down a hill at break neck speeds, its awesome.. its a treat, you know you have one weekend of total debauchery and then it goes away and you can look forward to next year. This is not the case in Elkford, it is a constant! it just keep piling up and up and up. Its over whelming, I've had a hard time keeping it together! I've never had problems with the weather before and I come from S.A.D.S central. Some people hate the coast because of all the rain and over cast weather, they get depressed, they buy special lamps and o.d on vitamin D... Me, never had that problem.. love the rain, love the wind... over cast weather never really bugged me. Now place me in a small town in the mountains and cover me with the white fluffy stuff and I loose my bloody mind.

It took me 20 minutes to leave my parking lot this afternoon.. 20 minutes! My car was buried. First you have to find the door, dust off all the snow and the surrounding snow (so nothing blows in the car), then get out the scraper, unplug the block heater, start the car and turn the defroster on high, dust off all the snow from everywhere, then scrape off all the ice, remember to put the block heater extension cord into the car so no one takes it, get into the car, wait for the ice on the inside of the car to melt so you can see out, put the car into reverse, discover the snow plow left a snow bank underneath your tires, go into the trunk and get the shovel, dig out the back tires, swear alot, ignore the smart ass neighbors, remember to put the shovel back into the truck only to discover you can't make it collapse back into its self (for easy storage, of course), swear some more, close the trunk, get back into the car, only to discover the ice still hasn't melted... do all this, just to drive 5 minutes up the hill. So you all must be thinking "Why don't you walk?" Well, because I'm 7 months pregnant, the roads are an ice rink and you try walking up two hills in knee deep snow... then I would be complaining about how it took me 20 minutes to put on all the water proof gear, just to walk 2o minutes up a hill!

The moral of the story is, its along way from Kansas Toto and I chose to live here. Everyone, I've asked said that its always hard the first year of living up here and next year it will be easier. Next year, I'm going to hire someone to do all this crap for me and stay warm until its time to leave. Gotta love the mountains, gotta love it.

That'll do donkey, that'll do

In true Christmas form, every elementary school has its Christmas pageant....errrrr... play... or as Josh reminded us... performance...

...So in true Christmas form, every elementary school has its Christmas Performance. Last night was Rocky Mountain Elementary School's time to shine. So naturally, Terry and I went to cheer on our darling nephew, Joshua's big time in the spot light. I'm no stranger to Christmas pageants..(I mean performances) because I myself, had a staring role as Mary's donkey in my elementary school performance back in the day. Yes, it was a hard role to learn...I spend hours becoming one with my inner donkey.. crawling on my hands and knees and sitting ever so patiently beside Mary while she did her bit...yes, I guess you could say that was my fifteen minutes of fame, if you could recognize me under my cardboard donkey head and my gray clothing. It was a proud moment for the Betts family, very proud indeed.

Anyways, back to the present...as in last nights performance. From what I gathered from the play (eerrr performance) was that it was Christmas around the world and each class had a different city or country. Josh's was England, the lights turned off and all the kids came out wearing black and in their hands they had different colour flashlights. They walked around the gym, flashing their lights all over to this beautiful music.. it reminded us of the Northern Lights because it was all greens, blues, oranges and reds. Absolutely beautiful, it honestly made me emotional, I had a hard time keeping it together. Josh's class moved me to tears. I think the amazing thing about the whole performance, Josh's and others, is that it wasn't typical Santa and Jesus...It was more than that, it was pure and involved everyone... different cultures and a different spin on your typical Christmas carol. Its a looong way from Mary's donkey, that's for sure, can't wait to see whats in store next year... or 5-6 years from now when its my own kid moving me and probably Terry to tears.

Christmas in the Koots.....

....or should my title be wacky and should I use a K for Christmas?

Kristmas in the Koots

Bah, whatever... whatever gets the point across I guess. Gotta love that tho, when people get wacky with the letters. I saw one once and it was the Christan Kids Klub, why didn't they go full out and make Christan - Kristan?....maybe because it would be sacrilege? or is it be because the abbreviation would be KKK... either way, kinda dicey.

Alright, now...that not really being the point of this post...it kinda makes me want to go on about it but I'll stick to the task at hand (and the original plan of this blog) and blabber about Christmas.

Yessssss Christmas, two weeks... yep slightly depressing. Especially since I haven't finished or really started on my shopping... not to mention it has to be packed off and mailed to the coast in time so my gifts will be there in time, not me personally but my gifts... I suppose you could say that is gift enough. Now, I just have to get my ass in gear and drive two hours to the nearest mall. That is a whole 'nother bag of worms, I miss 24 hour Wal-Mart and the mall being a 10 minute drive away. I got pretty damn good at leaving my house at 8:40pm, getting to the mall 10 minutes before closing and crossing off at least 3 people on my list in that short amount of time. I suppose I could floor it down to the Mini-Mart at 9:55 and buy everyone trout bbq lighters and scratch tickets...call it a day and brag about how I finished my shopping early, but how lame is that? I think my brother did that one year, because I totally remember getting a stress ball and Flinstone vitamins from him... either he was cleaver and was trying to say something about my health or he was just lazy... love you Brian, but I think I'm going with the laziness.

Monday is our big trip, I have to get my shit together on Monday. Monday we are making the 2 hour drive and hitting up Lethbridge... Monday get'r done... Tuesday get'r in the mail...Wednesday breathe easy and hope to hell that you didn't forget anything! Next year will be easier... hopefully... probably not, but at least I can think that way... at least I know that bribing the post lady wont get me (or my package) anywhere and getting your shopping done in November would make for an easy December. Right. Wishful thinking.

Breaking the Bacon Habit

One of the downfalls of being pregnant is giving up your vices, its been a hard 6 months so far...no beer (or booze for that matter), no self medicating on Advil and Gravol or any cold medicine... all your left to survive on is Tylenol (which, I'm still convinced to this day doesn't work), you loose all decent sleeping habits and lets not forget your sanity! Another thing your suppost to give up is cured meats, such as bacon, sausage and handling deli meats (wouldn't want to have a side dish of Listeria with your pregnancy, totally not on the menu)

Breakfast meats in my opinion is the best kind of meat, who doesn't love crispy bacon on everything?! According to Terry's trusty "Baby Bump" app on his iPhone, preggo's such as myself, are suppost to give up breakfast meats in their second trimester. And now that I'm rounding into my third trimester, I still haven't been able to break the habit of bacon. Going out for breakfast here is a staple and Elkford has one of the best greasy spoon breakfast restaurants one breakfast lover could ever ask for... did I mention the restaurant is attached to a gas station? Double kitsch, double goodness. Bacon is on everything I like to order at Curry's.. the Clubhouse.. the Daybreak breakfast.. hell, I order it as a side dish with my french toast.. and how could you order these things and say "Hold the bacon?" its just not the same, its just not right!

Today, however, I'm taking a stand... yes... I'm going to break my bacon habit. Sure, I'm three months late, but perhaps I can save my growing boy from the nitrates for the next three months. I'll just fill the bacon void with "Simulated bacon bits" (don't worry, its just soy..baby boy is used to soy, since I'm lactose intolerant) and starch... yes, I will suck it up and say "Hold the bacon, but can I have extra hash browns?" Its going to be a hard three months, since bacon is one of my most craved cravings, but I can do it... I will think positive, like when this baby is born I will celebrate over a nice cold beer and a huge plate of crispy bacon... yea, that's it, an incentive. Perfect. Only 87 more days to go......

The Phantom Menace

This morning the weirdest thing happened...

Now with my increasing belly, I've started to feel the difference between lying on my back and lying on my back with a bowling ball attached to it. So this morning, I woke up with a full bladder (as per usual)... hobble over to my bathroom..get ready to do my business and I had a phantom pee! A phantom pee! I get all ready to go and nothing... I guess since the baby wasn't sitting on my bladder anymore I didn't have to go.. no pee not so much as a trickle! Silly bugger! A phantom pee, one minute its there and the next minute its gone.

Conservative Hockey Night in Canada

I was just reading the news on msn's Canadian website and I read the funniest thing. Canada's pride and joy, Don Cherry is now getting into politics. According to msn.com he has made recorded messages endorsing the the local Conservative party member in the Toronto area.

Can you imagine... 5:30pm, just sitting down to dinner and the phone rings...you answer it and its a prerecorded message from Don Cherry??!!, the Don Cherry part isn't so bad, its the fact that its about the Conservative party. What a way to ruin your dinner!